The nice weather has drawn more people out of their homes but we need to remain vigilant of the latest threat. There have been reports of citizens being abducted by what appear to be human-like creatures that cut open the skulls of their victims, remove the portions of their brains that control rational thinking and then ultimately return them to society. Although the abductees are able to speak, they appear to be in a trance-like state of mind and their speech is limited to repeating phrases that are highly offensive to most individuals. An alternate way to identify them is to remove their MAGA baseball caps and observe the sutures on their scalp.
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